mckenna!!

L.G elabrate on my ideas

S.O.S add a extra sentence explaining the same thing

Mckenna has two beautiful brown eyes  witch sparkle in the sun.she has a thin layer of hair witch shines bright like to many diamands. Mckenna has these glorious ears that hear birds tweet.she has two fancy eyebrowa witch look like glossy cardbloard. Her smile is like a sky full of heaven.

Mckenna wears headbands that always need to be straight. When she laughs she sounds like a beautiful whale. She loves to play with her friends. She issometimes and mostly a girly girl. She likes to do gymnastics. She is so beautiful and looks like unicorn poop. A.K.A rainbows with sparkles.

Mckenna wears socks with scuffs on her shoes. She wears long tights in all sort of ligorious colours. She wears t-shirts with all sorts of animals on them. Its sometimes ladybugs. She is a very small girl in her body.

Mckenna likes to do dancing, gymnastics and swimming. She loves to collect earings and headbands. She likes to have everything tidy so its sparkling. She loves to do arts and crafts. She likes to have houses peerrrfect on minecraft. It has to be glazing.

Mckenna is the most awesomest person living on this whole entire world. She is like a sister to me.

By lani

L.G: Long sentences and short.

S.O.S: Have 5 short sentences     

Hannah Watkins

Her eyes gilmour as the sun shines on them.They're like diamonds in sky.Her dark brown hair blows in the wind like a river rushing. Her lush eyelashes open and shut. Her silver earring glow in the light of the sun. Her smile says everything about her. EVERYTHING!

Pretty. Amazing. A one of a kind girl. When someone is sad her smile lights up the room. Hannah always works her hardest that she can. She will try hard even if she is tired.

She wears her sparkly, black slip on shoes. No matter what kind of day it is she is always wears comfy clothes. Blue is her favourite colour so her nails are always painted blue. Sometimes she wears headbands.

She loves netball. But sadly she always hurts herself.  She loves doing arts and crafts. All she asks me is wanna do arts and crafts?

L.G.TO ELABORAT MY IDEAS WELL

S.O.S USE MORE INFO IN MY STORY

Mason has light shine brown her in the daytime and sparkly in the middle of the night   he has hazel dark wood eyes he has shimmering white  teeth and red pink lips

Mason mack massive red velvet cupcakes  with  thick icing on the top of them

Mason is a jolly person he's kind to everyone all the time day and night

He wears  red   jersey that looks like fire and he wears tracksuit pants and black white shoes that look like clouds   

Kieran read

L.g elaborate on good ideas

S.o.s use good ideas

Kieran read has ears that look like cauliflower.His hair looks like short grass.He has a beard that looks like cactus prickles coming out of his face. He has a nose that looks like a 1 inch dart.His eyes are as brown as dirt.

kieran has arms as strong as an elephant.his stomach is as tough as steel.his leg make him as fast as a leopard.his feet are as big as a giant's foot that's 60 inches long.

He loves his family way more then his  fans.he’s as strong as a gorilla and never gives up like john cena the most famous wrestler  kieran has worn the ab’s jersey since 2008.

Kieran is always smiling  like a kid laughing  at a clown. He is as kind as a kid in a happy mood.he loves to play rugby like kid loves his mum.

Albus dumbledore

Albus dumbledore has Shimmering silver hair that is as long as China. He has bright Blue-Eyes the colour of the beautiful blue Sky. Is gravy and as as long as an elephant trunk.

his wand is as Jagged as a tree branch. his robe is as long is the Great Wall of China. his hand is and wrinkly is a grandpa.

Dumbledore is affectionate as my mum on a  lovely sunny evening. Dumbledore is as sensible as a noble can sitting on his throne.

Dumbledore has excelled in Magic which he likes to do with ease  

Richie Mo'unga

Richie Mo'unga

He has sparkle black hair that curls up like a spring with his brown eyes that shine in the sun.He has a clean black beard that is well manicured.

He has long muscular arms that hangs of his bulky shoulders.His rough hands with his stubbled fingernails stick out at night.He always wears his crusaders kit but when he's up town he wears adidas clothes.

He always plays for the crusaders with his best friend David Havili.

L.G:Use precise words

S.O.S:-Adjectives

-5 similes

Donald Trump

Donald Trump has the brightest most reddest tomato face in the world. His face is as red as mars. He has evil blue eyes like Ursula the Sea Witch. He also controls the USA. Trump also has disheveled, blonde, brownie rough like hair. He has massive long ears like the the guy with the biggest ears in the world.

Donald Trump has the worst personality in the world. This is how I describe him, a wrinkly old bag.  He’s mean, he’s vicious and he controls the USA. I suppose he can be sometimes smart and nice like my mama!!

The thing that donald trump does, and I know he does this is controll the USA (United states of america) like the nice pretty queen, the only thing is he is the complete opposite to the queen.Also I’m sure he’d probably does something else that’s stupid and weird like him.

He is as tall and as stumpy as a pig. His arms are weak little and long. I could probably beat him in arm wrestle. His hands long & stubby. Trumps fingernails are sharp and broken. His shoulders droop they also slop down. His disgusting lips are wrinkly and old because he’s like 60 years old or something like that. Also he is really really cringey when he smiles!

The End!

Mr Dombroski

Mr dombroski

L.G.to use a variety of sentence lengths

Mr dombroski‘s hair is like a sandy golden brown.His Eyes are bright blue like the salty sea and his teeth are whiter than snow.His beard is like a fuzzy,prickly,spiky cactus.His moustache is like a reflection of the sun because it is so golden.

His fingernails are like a chewed plant.His lips are shaped like an oval and he has arms as long and thick as a giraffe's neck.His hands are as big as a tarantula's body.

He likes to teach children .He also likes to play monopoly and other board games.Mr Dombroski plays sport such as cricket and rugby.He has a funny sense of humor that's probably why he laughs a lot.

23.8.17

L.G  elaborate my ideas

Charter description

Mr D has blue eyes like the ocean. Mr D has blond hair like the color of the sand you find on a beach.

Mr D has jumpers that support the all blacks. Mr D has brown shoes the shape of a triangle.

Mr D is as funny as a joke book. He is also happy, kind and caring.

Mr D loves rugby and cricket. Mr D likes rugby because he is always wearing sporty things like rugby and cricket.

Scooter crash

As I go around the corner with my mate Jason. I feel like I'm on a bullet train.we swerve around the senior court and slow down to jump the  stairs. We are at SPS.

We jump the stairs like it was a centimetre drop from a cliff. Then all of a sudden.we stop,put our backs against the wall and push off.

When I jump I feel like a bird that suddenly I lose control and end up body slamming the ground with a mighty thud! (ouch!) “ugh” i winced. “Are you alright?” asked Jason “yeah i’m good” i coughed (not!) “there’s a duty teacher over there” “would you like me to get her?” “yeah sure”  i stuttered when  Jason went to go get the duty teacher I looked at the damage, my elbow was grazed and bleeding, my hand was sore and bleeding, my knee and leg with stinging and that's about it. I started limping / riding my scooter back to class but Jason caught up with the duty teacher. It was Mrs Dombroski . She put a plaster on me and told me to go fix myself up in class. Then I ended up with about 7 plasters on! (ha ha ha)         

The 100m sprint

L.G: precise words

S.O.S:

5 Adverbs, 5 Adjectives

5 speech, 5 said is dead

It was 6.30pm on a dark thursday night, I was getting ready for the 100m sprint. Everyone was watching with their beady eyes. “ On your marks,” declared my dad “set,” “boom,” went the great gun.

I started running rapidly, the 100m sprint wasn’t my thing but got there in the end. As I  hit the 50m mark I was tied with Camryn.

Then when we got to the 30m mark she quickly zoomed 1m ahead but I pushed my way ahead. I had to keep pushing so i stayed ahead, and that's what happened.

25m still ahead, 15m still ahead and 1m left to go.Done, I had won my tense race with camryn right behind and all the other girls behind her. “Well done,” began Camryn “You did so well,” I replied.      

Patea VS Stratford

Patea vs stratford

The whistle blows at the page street rugby grounds.

I chase the kick and make the first tackle of the game I get back to my feet and get the turnover I  call for support  “ jaxon kemp I need support!” I pass to kemp who puts it down on the 22 then I pick it up and off load to my brother cadyn who scores. After another 10 minutes at half time patea lead 8-6. I share a good idea with the team “ jaxon cover the front of the lineouts ‘cause your halfback. I’ll cover the back. The whistle blows and I get tackled. Patea gets penalised for flopping and I take the tap, run people over and score. It’s 10-8. We scored another 2 tries and won 12-8. After the match we went for a feed. It was our first time having sausages ‘cause me and kemp had to my 2nd cousin's birthday. boston . “How did you go?” I asked. “We lost” he mumbled. Oh well, we won 12-8,” I laughed.

On a cold and wet Thursday afternoon, we were playing netball at the Stratford netball courts. It was pouring down with cold droplets of water. Some drops raced down my neck and some flooded the court.

We were in the middle of playing. “Samara,” I called quietly.

“Yeah?” replied Samara.  

“When I catch the ball, you sprint to the goal and I will throw the ball down to you, OK?” I whispered in her ear.

“OK Ella.”

The centre pass off was ours.Hoot!! I run to the ball to receive it.The ball landed firmly in my hands. I gathered every bit of strength to hiff the ball down to Samara.Samara caught the ball and I sprinted to the goal to catch the rebound but ,something stopped me a foot.The ball reached samara hands and I tripped on a foot and stumbled to the ground.The pain races up my leg like a car race.I have grazes on my knee as well as my arm.I screamed and cried.”Ahhhhh!”.

People surrounded me on the court. “Get her up,” the people yelled.i cried in pain .We headed to the shelter.Rebeca my coach puts band aids on my arm and leg .She calls Mrs Mooreto pick me up.

L.G use speech marks

S.O.S

-Use three lots  of speech marks

I am standing on the court ready to play, the buzzer goes off we all start playing . It come  around to half time  Hannah called it.

My heart starts racing.”  I go slowly to see the score”... we're winning by one point  .”  the game is on I whispered to samara.

Me and Ava race down to get the rebound .I yelled to Ava”  take it down the other end “. suddenly the other couch called full time.

We drawed ! The two bosses had a massive conference to see if we had 3 minutes extra. We played 3 minutes extra and...we made it into the finals

By lukah  

L.G:Use Precise verbs and adjectives

S.O.S:-Adjectives

-Adverbs/Verbs

BROKEN LEG

One Night little me, the Millers and my cousin were going down my driveway onto the street, with my families bikes. “Hey Zeta do want to come on the bike with me,” asked Brooke politely. “Yep!” I yelled from my little bike, because I was only 3 years old.

So I walked over with my tiny little feet and jumped onto the massive bike. Then I got my tiny feet and put them on the wheel. “Here we go!” shouted Brooke…

“AAAHHHH!” I screamed, my foot slipped and got stuck in between the round wheel and the spiky things inside the wheel. My parents must have heard me scream, so they came running down the driveway “What happened!” called my mum nervously. “My foot’s stuck in the wheel,” I cried “Get it out.” So my dad bent the spikey things in the wheel, got my foot out. Then my parents hopped in the car with me and rushed me to Hospital!

Then the doctor came out and splattered out “Zeta you broke the growth plate in your ankle. The doctors put a cast on my leg so it was about knee height and we went back home. 1 month later I learnt how to ride a bike with a broken leg and a cast on. But my sister Lydia was very happy because I wrecked er wheel in her bike!!

THE END

 

jeff and bob

Use precise words to assist my meaning in writing

• Speech marks
• commas

Once  upon a time    there lived two  Young  men  called jeff and bob. Jeff is boring but handsome  and bob is funny but  ugly they  are Best friends.  The lived in a village with Blacksmiths and  farmers and all sorts.

One day While in a cave mining Jeff discovered diamonds. “whoa” yelled jeff Then Along Came Bob “whoa” muttered bob but suddenly 6 zombies ran in  attacked and killed Bob and turned him into a zombie. They all turned on jeff “noooooooooooooo” wailed jeff. But suddenly jeff thought of good times with bob and smiled so bright that it vapourized the zombies and brang back bob “yay i'm back.” beamed bob “yippee” cheered jeff and they lived happily ever after.

L.g elaborate good ideas

S.o.s.use good ideas

Ceasar vs Winter

Once there lived 2 apes Ceasar and Winter, Ceasar was  a stubborn ape and winter was a strong white gorilla.

Cesar and Winter sat at a campsite up mount egmont, “are we doing this? go !’’ yelled Ceasar.

doing this?

Winter and Ceasar set of up mount then winter asked “why are we doing this?” “where are we going ?” “be quiet’’ yelled ceasar and moments  later… “are we there yet?” “where are we” asked winter “that's it !” yelled ceasar  “go run now” yelled ceasar “ no,no,no don’t shoot me, i’ll do anything”. “Wait you’ll do anything” “ ok youre my slave offered ceasar, “ok ... i’ll be your slave,” grinned Winter, “ good  now go get me some food” “when” asked winter “NOW”! Yelled ceasar.

                         L.G. to elaborate idea well

S.O.S add extra info in my ideas    

Disneyland

there were two kids named josh and mason they were with mickey mouse

They were walking through disneyland   on the brown bee hive flaws

They saw a big red train  ride  so we  lined up

We go in three minutes on the ride they go side to side straight up hills down hills they go to the end of the ride the driver pulls the brakes then  boom the brackets. The man jumped out of the train josh gets out over his set and climbs into the drivers set andgets sizersccors and cuts the wiyer and it stops then everyone cheers

We name  you the king over disneyland` and disney world

by joshua savage

Jeff and Bob

L.G. to make a simple sentens 

There was two friends a mows and cat. The mouse's name was Jeff and the cats name is Bob. They were looking for a satellite connection . And then it started raining tnt they started running’ Jeff was trying to save his kind ‘ and jeff tried to talk to Bob but bob was in shock .They just mad it in time the muma tnt came and bloo the world up and jeff and Bob was left to find another world.             

  L.G   use correct punctuation

   S.O.S

   -use commas

Once upon a time there was a cat named ginger a  yummy sausage and a sweet bird.They loved to play in gardens .

Then came  a fine sunny day for the poor  hungry cat ginger  .

Ginger meowed I can cope without food . one day a delicious  sausage fall from the sky.

The  cat  and the lonely bird we're in bird bath  getting ready to catch that delicious sausage  suddenly the lonely bird ate the delicious grilled sausage ginger is still very grumpy.

Ginger is still very grumpy. 1 hour later gobble , gobble  ginger ate the poor lonely bird . the bird got deliciously  gobbled all up

LG use different types of sentences

S.O.S -use punctuation

        -make my sentence different length

Once upon a time there were 2 friends pig and cow . They loved food especially meat.Pig well he was a pig and cow well he was funny.they lived on a farm where they like to explore.

One day they explored and …. Found a truck with lots and lots of cattle. The oor opened on the truck pig and cow went in. “I don’t know this pig” whimpered cow. ”I’m sur they are m-o-v-i-n-g” pig paused something caught his eye.”what is it pig” questioned cow? Pig saw a death trapping machine that would kill them. “Why do they do this” pig spoke. “I don’t know” added cow. When it was their turn made a run for it. “Ahhh” screamed pig and cow.

“Ooh oh,” breathed pig trying to catch his breath. “Oh we could have been dead meat’ screamed cow “that's it,” talked pig “we are meat

,” suggested cow confused ,”yes they were killing us trying to get our meat” yelled pig in cows face “ so we’re eating ourselves the time,”asked cow “yes” pig replied.  So pig and cow realized that they we’re eating themselves because they were meat. They promised each other NEVER TO EAT MEAT AGAIN.  

L.G: Use Precise verbs

S.O.S:- Said is dead- adverbs- adjectives

-Wow words- 5x direct speech

Super World!!

Once upon a time a planet far far away lived the massive hero Hulk Smash, 1 dumb Clumsy the smurf & 2 dumb boys named Jeff & Bob. One day they were all at Hulk Smash market in super world getting lunch!!

One day Jeff & Bob meet up. “Hi Jeff,” mumbled Bob, “Hi Bob,” answered Jeff. Then they went to this rocket ship place in Adelaide. Then Jeff thought it would be cool to hop inside one of the rocketships. ( not realising it was the one to go to super world!) But then Bob followed Jeff into the rocket… ppp wwwww the rocket accidentally went high up in the sky.”AAhhh!”screamed Bob & Jeff! “What are we going to do Bob,” Yelled Jeff terrified!

But then Bob & Jeff got out of the rocket and don’t have a clue where they we’re.”We’re losttttt,”Yelled Bob!  But they looked around and then… they saw hulk smash market!!!!!They ran over there because they thought there might be help in there but instead they saw the huge hero... Hulk Smash. They ran over to him and asked, “ Can you help us back home Hulk smash.”

“Yes definitely,” answered Hulk Smash.

So Hulk Smash got dumb clumsy the smurf to kick up the bum. Then Hulk Smash and Jeff & Bob went flying right back to earth.”Thank-you Hulk,” Yelled Bob & Jeff politely, as the hit the ground on earth. “Anything boys” replied Hulk smash happily!!   

8.8.17

L.G punctuation & spelling

S.O.S punctuation

Once upon a time, there was a mermaid called Mini and a pilot called James. Mini loved to swim in the ocean!

One day Mini saw James ship, she started to swim over to james.Mini got on james ship. “Hello can I please come on your ship?” asked Mini “Sure climb aboard.” yelled James. “Thanks” screamed Mini. And away they went.

Mini and James started to swim. Soon enough they were tired. They stopped looked back… and the ship was gone!

James shouted “there's an island over there” Mini and James happily swam back to the island.

L.G:Use precise verbs

S.O.S:Wow words

JEFF THE CAT!!

Jeff the cat!

Sat on his fat bed!

And was eating a fat rat!

Along came pat the bat with a cricket bat!

And hit Jeff in the head with the cricket bat!

Jeff got knocked out seeing rats!

l.g use good ideas
s.o.s rhyme
Jeff the Cat sat on his fat owner

And was eating a rat

Along came pat the bat

Pat the bat hit jeff in the head

With a cricket bat!

Jill got caught

L.G:Organisation
S.O.S:Rhymes & Unqiueness
My nursery rhyme!

Jill likes to kill

One day she was hiding while eating

Then started retreating

She was caught by the police

And asked them to release,her from the handcuffs.

Mrs lime and slime

Mrs Lime loved slime every hour of the day

She mixed the glue

And the shaving foam too

But there was no borax for her to use.

So mrs lime

Found some time to buy borax for slime.

She finished her slime

In a quick amount of time

And then went to climb mount fine

Nursery rhyme

L.G punctuation          

Hundreds of kids

playing on bars.

One fell off

And saw stars.

Children ran off to tell.

He will be back to ring the school bell